MTG

({T}: Add {B}.)

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Skip your untap step. At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay X life. If you do, untap X permanents. Pay ½ life: Exile the top card of your li...

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that playe...

Choose one — • Target player gains 2½ life. • Prevent the next 2½ damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn. Gotcha — If an opponent ...

({T}: Add {U}.)

You gain life equal to your age.

As Gluetius Maximus enters the battlefield, an opponent chooses one of your fingers. (Thumbs are fingers, too.) When the chosen finger isn't touch...

{G}, {T}: Return target card with a ½ on it from your graveyard to your hand.

As Form of the Squirrel enters the battlefield, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token. You lose the game when that creature leaves the battlef...

Fat Ass gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you're eating. (Gum isn't food. We checked.)

Elvish House Party's power and toughness are each equal to the current hour, using the twelve-hour system.

Gotcha — If an opponent says "creature" or "guy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Creature Guy from your graveyard to your hand.

Trample Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value. B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chi...

All creatures have haste. Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed. Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the...

Destroy target land. Gotcha — If an opponent touches their face, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Touch and Go from your graveyard to you...

Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. ...

As Six-y Beast enters the battlefield, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that...

Sauté deals 3½ damage to any target.

Super haste (This may attack the turn before you cast it. (You may put this card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped and attacking during yo...

Whenever Red-Hot Hottie deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It gains "At the beginning of each end step, ...

{R}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: Pygmy Giant deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box.

Punctuate deals damage to target creature equal to half the number of punctuation marks in that creature's text box. (The punctuation marks are ! ?...

When Orcish Paratroopers enters the battlefield, flip it from a height of at least one foot. Sacrifice Orcish Paratroopers unless it turns over com...